BanjoThreeie
by BKfan13
Summary: The third sequal to the wonderful world of BanjoKazooie, where Banjo and Kazooie go to their theme park and get a surprise.....
1. Chapter 1

**Banjo-Threeie: What Happened After banjo-Tooie**

**Chapter 1**

It was 2 years after Banjo and Kazooie had defeated the evil witch Gruntilda for the second time, and everything was peacefull. Banjo and Kazooie were walking through Jinjo Village on their way to BK Fun Land (which used to be called Witchy World while Gruntilda was still alive, and more than a creepy skull like she is today, after Banjo and Kazooie finished her off in Couldron Keep 2 years ago, and after that it got renamed to BK Fun Land after the heroes Banjo and Kazooie) to meet up with Bottles and JamJars the moles and Mumbo the shaman to have a fun time. Finally, after going through Wooded Hollow, the Plateau and Pine Grove, they were there, and were trying to find Mumbo and Bottles, looking inside the Inferno (where Mumbo had one of his huts in) and even inside the Crazy Castle ride. They just couldn't find them. So, they went up to see Humba Wumba in one of her Wigwams near the Crazy Castle, but when they went inside, she was gone too! Even Jamjars wasn't appearing in his silos when Banjo called him!

"Where-a did everyone-a go, Kazooie?" Banjo asked in his unique hill-billy type voice.

"Does it matter, Banjo? I mean come on, everyone's gone, let's par-tay! There's not even anyone here to accept money, everything is freeeeeeee!"

"Kazooie! Come on-a, we can't rip people off and have a good-guh-huh! time while our friends are missing! I mean, after all they've done for us!"

"Bree! Oh, come on honey brain, we didn't need them! We could have easily beaten Grunty without that near-sited mole teaching us his stupid moves that I could've figured out! Oh, and don't even get me started on JamJars, that con artists actually CHARGED us valuable notes just for him to blab to us about stuff! And skull-face! Bree! That show off thought he could one-up us with his magic and he thought he was sooo brave to go out into the worlds and leave his skull, when we did more than he ever could have done in the last game!"

"Kazooie! That's not bein' very nice!" "I'm not done, bear boy! I forgot about that indian woman, Dumba Wumba or whatever... That show off thinks she's so good, I mean who'd wanna be turned into a _washing machine_ anyway? I mean, really!"

"That's ENOUGH!" Banjo yelled. "We need to find out what's going on!"

"Oh, alright party pooper, fine! Everyone is probably somewhere at some stupid event, isn't there like a kickball game?"

"I don't think-a so, Kazooie, and even if there-a was, our friends wouldn't leave us without tellin' us, now would-a they?"

"You're right, something is definitely going on. Let's explore around and other worlds, too to see if EVERYONE'S gone." Kazooie suggested thinking to herself "I'd get to ride freely in the back of Banjo's backpack while that sucker would haul me around!"

"That's a good idea, Kazooie! Guh huh!"

"OK, genius I thought of that now you need to think of what we do next, how we plan it, etc."

"Well, I think we should definitely start with Mayaham Temple, just to make sure there isn't a kickball tournament and we can also see if officer Unogopaz knows anything about this..."

"I could have thought of that, dumbo!"

"OK, well let's get started..."

And they started going to Mayaham Temple to investigate...


	2. Chapter 2

-1**Chapter 2**

"Are we there yet, honey-brain?" Kazooie complained to Banjo as they were walking through Wooded Hollow towards Mayaham Temple.

"Yeppers, I can-a see the Temple from here, Kazooie! Guh-huh!"

"He really needs to stop saying that," Kazooie mumbled

"What's that, Kazooie?"

"Nothing, nothing, nothing at all, Banjo..."

"Good, 'cause we're almost there and we shouldn't be wastin' our time with the small talk."

"Look who's talkin', buddy" Kazooie mumbled again.

"OK, Kazooie we're here!" They had just entered the world known as Mayaham Temple and were on their way to the kickball stadium to find out what was goin' on. They reached the kickball stadium, and Officer Unogopaz wasn't there with his usual grim face guarding the kickball stadium entrance. They walked inside, glad they didn't have to think of a lie to tell him so they could get in, and looked around the stadium. Nobody. Anywhere. Just Stonies practicing for the next game. Banjo asked one of them if they knew where anybody was.

"Yxre xtooopid bearaa nda brdbrainei weya canx nottia speekiox yorex laingaugeiaon"

"Err... Sorry, but we couldn't quite understand you, could you repeat that?" Banjo asked, very curious of their language.

"Nox."

"Sure...Well, Kazooie, I guess we'll have to find out ourselves."

"You got that right! These idiots don't even know english!"

"Now Kazooie, don't be mean, it's not their fault they speak... Stonian..."

"Right then, on with the search." Kazoioe interrupted.

"Well, let's go see if Bullion Bill's at his hut in Glitter Gulch Mine, shall we Kazooie?"

"But we already passed by the Plateau, I don't wanna walk all the way over there again!"

Banjo, ignoring the fact that Kazooie didn't do any walking or any effort whatsoever when they go somewhere, just thought of something.

"We-a could use that secret-y passage-y thing in Prison Compound, ya know, where we rescued Dilberta two years ago, that takes us straight there!"

"No way am I going through that gross tunnel!"

"You'll be safe and sound in my backpack, don't worry Kazooie!"

"Like that's any better," Kazooie mumbled.

"Alright then! Let's go!" Banjo said, ignoring Kazooie's rude comment.

And so they went over to Prison Compound and through the passageway into Bullion Bill's hut. No Bullion Bill. So they looked around Glitter Gulch Mine, looking in Mumbo's hut there and Humba's Wigwam, and then headed over to the train station there and decided to take a ride on Chuffy to the Isle 'o 'Hags stop (scenic Cliff Top) go off, and looked inside Mumbo's Skull.

"How 'bout that? No Mumbo! Wasn't expecting that!" Kazooie said, very sarcastically.

"You're right, Mumbo isn't here. This is very odd, he isn't anywhere. Well, since we're in Cliff Top, we might as well check in Jolly Roger's lagoon, to see if Mumbo is there, and if that jolly old Jolly is there, that guy is always so happy!"

"If by "happy" you mean "gay" then…"

"Oh, Kazooie, happy and gay mean the same thing! You get what I meant!"

"Right…..Yeah, in that case, Jolly is VERY gay!"

"Yeppers. Hey, Kazooie, do you mean…."

"Well, duh, Honey-Brain, took ya long enough…"

"Kazooie! Jolly is just a very happy guy who we found his soul mate for him, that Maggie person…"

"Yeah, he sure is "happy" as you call it…."

"ANYWAY, let's go and find out if anyone's there."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

They walked into Jolley Roger's Lagoon, Kazooie wise-cracking all the way, and entered Jolly's Inn. "Jolly? Jolly?" Banjo called. No response, he just simply wasn't there. They walked into the only "room" in the "inn" (where JamJars tought them how to aim eggs underwater) and no sign of anyone, and JamJars didn't come up through his Silo when they walked on top of it and pressed B... I mean, called for him...

But what amazed them most was that the crazy Captain Stop N Swop... err.. i mean Captain Blackeye wasn't even there! They were really starting to freak out. "Well, as the-a tree said to the lumberjack, 'I am Stumped!'" Banjo said in a funny voice to Kazooie, who was just totally silent in light of the horrible 'joke' Banjo had thought he made. "Banjo, sometimes I don't know how we ever became friends..." Kazooie mumbled. "What's that?" "Nothing, Banjo..."

So, they left Jolly Roger's Lagoon, and were really confused, and then Banjo suggested something.

"Hey Banjo Boy, you ever stop to think that maybe everyone's in Grunty's old lair? I mean, maybe they moved those huge bolders..."

"Are you kiddin', Banjo? _I_ couldn't even break those boulders. I don't know how anyone else could have, I mean, I can shoot Grenades out of my 'effin mouth, and it ain't no walk in the park, either..."

"Kazooie!" Banjo shouted. "Well, I mean, it's worth a shot, it's clear to me that no one's in any of 'tooie's worlds...Maybe everyone's at Treasure Trove Cove havin' a par-tay or somethin..."

"What makes you think that? There could be some people in other worlds..." Kazooie contradicted.

"Well, let's just go there to check."

"But HailFire Peaks is right here... and that's a really cool level..." Kazooie complained.

"Fine, we can check out HailFire first...but more walking for me..."

"Oh, quit complainin', honey-belly, it's not that far..."

So they walked into the tiny little hut that magically somehow took them to a huge giant fire world known as the fire side of HailFire Peaks.

"Oops, I forgot, Banjo... There's no one in HailFire peaks except stonies... My bad.."

"It's OK, Kazooie Guh-huh!"

So, after their little detour in HailFire Peaks, they took the warp silo back to Jinjo Village and then entered the Digger Tunnel on their way to Grunty's old lair. However, they weren't greeted very friendly...

Because as soon as they entered the Digger Tunnel, Banjo noticed that the air was a bit more greenish than normal... He started feeling dizzy, and so did Kazooie... A few seconds later he and Kazooie were kocked out and on the floor unconcious...

A few hours later, he woke up in his bed, with Kazooie sleeping in the age-old backpack. Banjo woke up slowly, as he seemed really really sleepy.. Finally he was wide awake and so was Kazooie.

They got up and started walking outside, and was pleased to find Bottles' there.

"Hello...er...a...umm... Bango?" Bottles said in a weird voice, very hesitently...

"Umm... Bottles? Are you ok? You sound kinda... different...Are you OK?" Banjo said in a polite way.

"Yeah, goggle boy, you seem less geeky, it's kinda weird! Breeee! Nice name, Bango! Hahaha Bree!"

"Sure... A joke... Bango... That is his name... isn't it?... I mean... Of course it is! So... uhh... how have you been... Ban... Ban.. Bango...?"


	4. Chapter 4

-1**Chapter 4**

At first, Banjo and Kazooie thought that everything was a dream about everyone being gone, as they had just woken up. They both thought they both were in some terrible nightmare that finally ended. Well, they were wrong. Very wrong. Super Duper Wrong. They thought that everything was back to normal when they first say Bottles. But once they started talking to them, as you saw in the last chapter, they knew something wasn't quite right. They were going to investigate the rest of the land, to see if everyone else was back and everyone was normal, until Banjo overheard "bottles" mumbling something into what appeared to be a microphone.

"Sorry, boss, I couldn't remember my line, that name Banjo is very unusual...I flubbed it and it ended up Bango," Banjo heard Bottles mumbling, and immediately snapped his head and said "What?"

"Bottles" replied, "Oh, I was er.. just.. uh... practicing... for the upcoming play...performance... thingy... yeah..."

Kazooie wispered in Banjo's ear, "Banjo, I know he's lieing. He couldn't act to save his life! And as much as I hate to admit it, Bottles doesn't seem like the lieing type, that guy is a fake!"

"Well, even if it is we should just walk away slowly as to not get him upset..."

They turned around and started walking into Jinjo Village, on their way to see King Jingaling and ask see if he was alright.

"They're going to Dingaling's place or whatever," so called "Bottles" mumbled into a microphone, luckily Banjo and Kazooie didn't hear him. "This is perfect..." A voice on the other end said in a crackly terrifying voice.

They walked up the stairs and into his Throne Room to see what was going on. Inside it was croweded with people from all over.

"SURPRISE!" Everyone yelled.

"Bullion Bill! Canary Mary! Officer Unogopaz! Mumbo! Humba! JamJars! You're all here!" Banjo yelled with glee.

"You wouldn't believe the day we've been having, we had the most terrible dream and woke up finding Bottles acting cool... for once..." Kazooie said immediatly.

"Not to worry..." King Jingaling said in a very... odd.. sort of sounding voice. "Everything's going to be just... Perfect..."

Before they knew it, everyone around them were running towards them! "AGGHHHHH!" Banjo yelled as he desperately ran to the door, which was now blocked my dozens of people blocked the entrance, with Officer Unogopaz in front.

"What the heck is goin' on? Why are you all attacking us!" Banjo screamed as his voice slipped away to silence as the crowed crushed him.

They woke up in a room a couple of hours later, in a giant cage-like thing. All of his friends and everyone he knew was in the cage with them. They couldn't wonder more about their prediciment. Where they were, if all the people in the cage with them were really their friends, or merely more fakes. They also wondered why the room had a bunch of shadows in the distance that they couldn't quite make out... and wondered who or what they were...


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"Uhh... Hello...Bottles?" Banjo asked.

"Banjo! Oh thank goodness you're here! It's really me, Bottles!"

"And me real Mumbo!"

"Sergeant Jam Jars here! Ten-Hut!"

It was apparent that these were all the real inhabitants of the Isle o' Hags. Banjo and Kazooie were really getting confused now. "Bottles, do you know what's going on?"

"Well, Banjo, not really…. I was sleeping inside my molehill one moment, then woke up here!"

"But we talked to you a couple of hours ago…"

"How could you possible think that was me? No, no, I'm not quite exactly sure what's going on but it seems like everyone was kidnapped and imposters we put to work on the Isle o' Hags for some odd reason…"

"But earlier today, there was nobody at all!"

Bottles thought about this, then replied, "Ahh, well, that must have been when all the imposters were transforming themselves into our different bodies."

Now they were even more confused. "Huh?"

"Well, I'm not quite sure, but I think I saw all the people drink this sort of potion thing and all they all turned into whoever they were touching. I know this because Something grabbed my arm and I saw it drink this fluid and then a big "POOF!" occurred and it looked exactly like me!"

"Whoa, slow down there, goggles, you mean some jerks impersonated everybody to trick us?" Kazooie blabbed out.

"Most likely," Bottles replied, "I think it was…"

His sentence was interrupted by a voice in the distance.

"…to trick you into thinking everything was fine and then pull the old element of surprise? Is that what you were going to say Bottle Boy?" The voice was coming from one of the shadows. It stepped forward to reveal that the voice was coming from an ugly witch who resembled Gruntilda, except this witch had a body, and had green flesh like a normal witch, not just a pile of bones…

"I suppose you're wondering who I am. Well, I am an old friend of Gruntilda Winkybunion from Witch School, I believe she mentioned me in her superb game show, Grunty's Furnace Fun. My name is Sweaty Betty, but you can call me Betty."

"Whoa, hold on there, you mean Gruntilda didn't just make up answers for that quiz? So she really does sleep on a pile of shi…"

"Kazooie!"

"Yes, I'm proud to say she didn't make those up, however she did make up several bogus answers, like Saggy Maggy, who isn't even her friend! Anyway, you see, I was at my own personal Lair one day and wanted to get in touch with Gruntilda. I soon found out that her lair was condemned because she moved out after you two…."

"….Pecked her warty butt!" Kazooie interrupted.

"Err… yes… Anyway after I found out she went was buried under a boulder and then had to be revived using a machine known as the B.O.B, which failed due to you two! And now, I'm here with all of my classmates for our revenge! Grunty may only be a bony skull, but we remember her and will never forget what you've done to her! You will PAY! And, after I have got rid of you two, I will force all of your friends to be our slaves as we will RULE the ISLE O HAGS! And all of my classmates know it, and they wanted in on it. So I brought them and thought they might be handy. Turns out I was right. You two were so gullible! You fell right into my trap!" evil chuckle!

"Gulp. Uh oh."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 (Finally!)**

Banjo and even Kazooie were starting to worry. They didn't know what to do. Normally, they have to go on an adventure through a bunch of different worlds and have unlimited time... I mean, uh, they have to hurry before the Witch succeeds in her evil plan. But this time, it was different, as Sweatty Betty had captured them and is threatening to kill them and make everyone slaves!

Betty then said "Get the bear and bird, my friends..." And suddenly, Banjo and Kazooie were being attacked by all the gross hags known as the classmates of a classmate of Gruntilda the Witch...

"Bottles! Mumbo! Somebody! Help!" Banjo yelped as they were taken away into a back room somewhere... near the back...

"I'll be back for you guys later, when you'll all be obeying me and doing every single thing I tell you!" Cackled Betty as she walked off into the back room in the back.

"Guys! Banjo and Kazooie have been taken away! We have to do something, we are their only hope!" Bottles said loudly infront of everyone.

JamJars spoke up, "Yeah, that punk always gets to be the hero, but now it's our turn!"

"We need to think of plan!" Mumbo said.

"But we're trapped inside this giant cage thingy!" King Jingaling said.

"Let's break out of this thing!" some unimportant backround character said.

"Look! Over there! a switch that says "Cage Control! It probably opens the cage!" another unimportant character said.

"How we press it?" Mumbo asked.

Canary Mary spoke up, "Is anyone or anything small enough to fit through the cage to press it? I want out of this cage, it reminds me of Glitter Gulch mine and how I was trapped in that one cage with the toxic..."

"And me of Prison Compound," Dilberta sqeaked.

"What about toots?" King Jingaling said.

"What?" Canary Mary squeaked.

"My pet that I always carry around, you know that little snail thingy... I bought him off my good friend in Gobi's Valley, Ruby, who used to live inside that pyramid... Maybe Toots can sqeeze through and go press the switch." Jingaling replied.

"What about my dilberta? She's faster than a snail, I reckons!" Bullion Bill outbursted, "And she'll probably fit right through!"

"That's a good idea, Bill," Bottles said, "As time is very important"

So they sqeezed Dilberta through the cage and she ran over and pressed the switch and it opened the cage and everyone was really happy.

"Wee hee! Jinjo! We're free! Again!" All the Jinjos yelped.

"Free again!" Canary Mary said.

"Into the back room!" Bottles said.

So they walked into the back room and suddenly realized it wasn't a backroom at all... It was... a huge place with tunnels and places to go and rooms after rooms, it was like... a lair...

Meanwhile...

"So, you thought you were all happy after you finished off my best friend, did ya?" Betty said, "Soon, I will have you finished off! Hahahaha! In a matter of days, my mind control devices will be finished and I will be able to put them on all of your little friends, and then, after you get to see them all miserable, I'll kill you both! It's perfect! That way you die in pain and misery from seeing your friends in pain and misery!"

"But, Betty, don't you think we should just kill them now so they don't try to seek revenge like in Banjo Tooie? Remember how Grunty waited for the B.O.B to be charged, and they came and got her? Don't you think we should just get them out of the way now, so they don't try to pull any funny stuff?"

"No, my friend, I want them to see all their friends in misery! We're going to do things MY way, OK? And just so you feel reassured, I'll put them in the steel box where they can't escape no matter what and even if they do, where are they gonna go? They're in the middle of my LAIR! They couldn't survive all of my tricks and traps!"

"But that's what Grunty said in the first game..."

"Oh shut up you! It's going to be fine, OK? They're in a solid steel box with guards and the whole deal. They're not going anywhere."


	7. Chapter 7

-1**Chapter 7**

"I think we might bein over our heads..." Bottles said to everyone.

"Well, Punks, don't stand there! Let's get going!" JamJars said. So they began to wonder into the lair, when they came across a door that was closed. On the door it said, "Fungest Forest".

"How do we get in? I wonder if it acceps Jiggies..." Bottles said.

"I, Master JiggyWiggy shall find out." He reaches into his pocket, grabs a Jiggy and holds it in the air, waving it around. Unfortunately, it was not that easy as the door wasn't sealed with Jiggy Magic, because, after what Betty heard what happened in Grunty's Lair she installed a new protective system.

"Well, if no take Jiggy, what does door take?" Mumbo asked out loud.

"Well, let's look around and maybe we'll find something that will let us open it," Bottles said.

So they walked around aimlessly, looking for anything unusual lying anywhere. They were about to give up until a Jinjo said "Look over here everyone!" and they looked over there. The yellow Jinjo was next to a wall.

"Jinjo! It's just a plain old wall!" King Jingaling said.

"Or is it?" The Jinjo said mysteriously... Then he put this hand THROUGH the wall, and everyone was amazed. "There's like a secret passage here!" He exclaimed. He then walked entirely through the plain, old, wall.

"Jinjo!" Jingaling exclaimed and he ran in after him. Then the rest followed him, one after the other untill everyone was Behind the Wall.

Behind the wall, it was like this big arena with different machines of some sort scattered throughout the room, and one big electrical box of some sort. They all studied the room and what to make of it. Everone was bewildered. Then Mumbo suddenly ran over to the electrical boxy thingy and said "Looks like it out of power. Me zap it with Mumbo stick."

"Mumbo!" Everyone called, but he zapped it anyway.

A bunch of lights begin flashing and noises and stuff, like the machines were starting up. Then, they heard a voice. The voice was monotomus and computer like sounding.

"Welcome to Betty's First challenge for Fungest Forest. The machines you see here will start firing assorted colored eggs into the air and you must catch them all without breaking any and then you must sort them into the different bins seen here." Just then these different colored bins popped up out of the ground. "You must sort 50 eggs within the time limit of one minute. Move around using the Control stick, and press A to... well you get the idea."

"This weird challenge," Mumbo said.

"It sure is strange," Bottles agreed.

"Well, too bad, punks, we have to start, the timer's already begun!" JamJars yelled.

So they started playing the odd minigame... err.. I mean, challenge...


End file.
